| Citation |
MS-B.773.111
2 Dec 1773:41 (3/148)
A DESCRIPTION OF A COLLEGE ROOM.
I stroll'd one day into a room,
When honest Bob was not at home,
But as his key was in the door,
I sat me down for half an hour.
When round the room I cast my eyes,
A medley of such objects rise,
That straightway to employ my time,
I thus describ'd them all in rhyme;
A table first which made of oak,
Had one leg short, another broke,
As much of it as well could stand
Was fill'd with papers, pens and sand,
While various books confus'dly lie,
Scotch songs with deep philosophy;
A Homer here and Euclid there,
A Rochester and book of pray'r:
Here Tillotson, with French romances,
And pious South with country dances;
Foul pipes and mugs together lay,
With box of best Virginia,
The newest method for the fiddle,
A violin broke in the middle;
With great variety of prints
Of copper plates and mezotints;
Here Phaeton from heaven was hurl'd,
And here the wonders of the world;
The Cartoons mix'd with Arateens,
With heads of British Kings and Queens:
Joan with her Beau-knot, Punchanello,
With Vernon's seige of Porto Bello;
Here Drake, that glorious English Tar,
With Ormond, and the Russian Czar;
A cat, without a tail or ear,
Lay sleeping by a mug of beer,
Along with her upon the hearth
Lay Pope's new Dunciad and Garth,
Which did not dread the harmless fire,
Which just was going to expire;
Upon the floor was careless thrown
A dirty shirt and tatter'd gown;
A Homer ne'er design'd to look on,
A wooden desk to set a book on,
Two globes 'twas difficult to find
Which was for heaven or earth design'd
A pair of bellows, with a broom,
And a bureau, adorn'd his room;
In bottle neck was fix'd a candle,
An earthen jug without a handle,
A grate I could not help admiring,
Was ne'er design'd to make a fire in,
So much decay'd and full of holes,
It would not hold a pan of coals.
Upon a little table stood
An earthen bason full of blood,
A tweezer case, a dirty towel
A pitcher of hot water gruel;
A glass which some unlucky stroke
Had in a thousand peices broke.
A chest half full of right Bohea,
With proper furniture for tea.
Had not the cups and sauces been
Some blue and white, some red and green,
Some large enough to hold a gill,
Whilst others scarce a spoon would fill,
Here lay a female fan and gloves,
The trophies of his former loves:
To Betsy, lay an open letter
In which he own'd himself her debtor,
But could not her request fulfill,
He had not yet receiv'd his bill.
Upon a window stood a bowl,
With relicks of a roasted fowl,
A college plate with dirty dishes,
A powder horn and net for fishes;
A rusty gun without a lock,
A racket and a shuttle-cock;
A canister and pair of shoes,
A pistol ne'er design'd for use,
A coffee pot, a perfum'd ball,
A Mingo mug and that was all.
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